Connaissez-vous le kévin ? Cette bête étrange d'apparence humaine et d'intelligeance ostréicole. Non ? Alors ce blog vous aidera à combler ce vide. Ici le kévin est décrypté et illustré par l'exemple pour une approche la plus pédagogique possible de l'animal ! Pour finir, juste un petit conseil kévinien : "5! tu v3 b1 l!r m0|\| bl06 pr3|\| l3 k3v!|\| 5kc3|\| !! C just 1 k0|\|s3!l !! 101 !!!"

mercredi, décembre 07, 2005

Qu'est-ce qu'un kévin(nom commun) ?

Aux vues des différents commentaires -merci c'est sympa d'en avoir poster ! -, je crois avoir oublié une chose au combien importante : le k3v1n 5p1r1t.

Pour expliquer cela, il faut d'abord expliquer ce qu'est un kévin(le nom commun).

Un kévin est un ado caricaturé à l'extrême, âgé de 14-15 ans, ayant le facièce d'une calculatrice collège - normal vu l'âge ! (Comment ça c'est pas drôle ? C'est ça aussi le kévin spirit !)

Etant un fan irréductible de kyo "Pars'ke c tro ardcor com group !! olala mé tro 2 l4 m0r ki tu t0u k01!!", il se considère comme un "putin de rebèl !! lol" "tro en marge 2 la sosiét ! mais grav !!" et passe le plus clair de son temps entouré d'autres spécimens dans son genre(notamment des kévinas, son pendant féminin) à boire du champomy parce que "le chanpomi sa pèt tro grav la tèt koi !! olala c un truk 2 ouf !!!!!!!!!! c pa pour les naz sa !! LOL !!!!!!! c du putin 2 truk de 0uf s4 m3r k01 !!! 0lal4 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ici, il sera représenté dans sa version "geek"(fou d'informatique, si on veut.), encore plus pitoyable que la version basique, celle-ci ne se vante pas seulement à propos de nimporte quoi("port nawouak" comme dirait le kévin de base) mais ose également s'attaquer au domaine de l'informatique en ce faisant passer pour un grand génie(Qui a dit "troublante autobiographie" ? [kévin spirit]"N4n mé p4rse k3 je vé lui kc sa tèt, 4 sui la !!!"[/kévin spirit]).

Le kévin a son langage propre, se composant d'une grande part de langage SMS(ou MSN, deux langages très proches)et de kikookoilolophilie("kikoo ............lol....koi.....lol.....koi...koi...lol....", voici à peu de choses près un discours très kévinien), ainsi que d'un zeste de leet speak pour faire croire à la populace, qu'il est un dieu de l'informatique bien sûr !

Le kévin utilise du leet speak "de base" mais en le mélangeant aux abréviations orales, il arrive à rendre ses propos assez peu compréhensibles et très énervant à lire !

C'est d'ailleurs principalement pour cette raison que les kévins ont une espérance de vie assez peu élevée et finisse le plus souvent écrasé par une voiture alors qu'ils en provoquaient le chauffeur depuis leur vélo !
Exemple :
Salut = kikoo
(ah nan, c'est un mauvais exemple !)
Je m'appelle Kévin = j3 m'4p3l k3v1n
(il s'agit ici d'un leet speak peu évolué, qui mélanger avec un peu de langage SMS permet de gonfler très rapidement le lecteur !)

Le kévin est également un gros adepte de la phrase qui ne veut rien dire et aime sortir des expressions de leur contexte ("p4rs3 k3 chui un kréateur 2 mot koi !!! lol !!") :
Exemples :
"tr0l l0l k01 !!!!!" (un de ces expressions fétiches avec "l0l" et "k01", évidemment !)
"pt41n jp1553 1 m0nt4gn k01 !!!!! l0l !!"(un dénaturage - en voilà un mot qui ne veut pas dire grand chose ! - de l'espression "j'ai une montagne de boulot")

La journée du kévin a déjà été sujet à de nombreux études sociologiques et plusieurs sites web en essayé d'en effectuer une reconstitution : la journée du kévin(il s'agit en fait du true rebelez, mais elle est quasi identique à celle du kévin !)

Pour finir le kévin s'appelle ainsi à cause du nombre effrayant de kévin adolescent, existant en France.

Je pense que désormais vous en savez un peu plus sur le kévin, cet être si particulier !

En vous souhaitant une bonne lecture,
Alain

------------------------------------------- _______________________________________________________

135 Comments:

Anonymous Anonyme a écrit...

excellent la journée du kevin allez voir !!!! pour une fois que j'ai compris !! :P:P il est super ton article !!! vive le kevin spirit!!!!!

10:42 PM

 
Anonymous Anonyme a écrit...

alain il est super ton truc ! fais en dautres !!

10:43 PM

 
Blogger A. a écrit...

Merci !

Vous inquiétez pas d'autres billets arriveront ! Je vais d'ailleurs commencer par vous présenter k3v1n "en personne" !

Alain
P.S: Sinon, l'idée de faire un blog dans le même genre que Victim19 me plaît assez ! A réfléchir

10:46 PM

 
Anonymous Anonyme a écrit...

Mdr ^.^
Ya tellement de kevin que sa en France? ...
Bouh sa fait peur :o

1:14 PM

 
Blogger A. a écrit...

Salut Emma,

Eh oui malheureusement ! Les kévins y en a à la pelle et ce partout dans le monde(enfin dans les pays riches) !

Bisoux,

Alain

3:04 PM

 
Anonymous Anonyme a écrit...

Je connais pas mal avec le même caractère que "kev" ^.^
Mais pas avec le même nom ...:o
A méditer :p

1:37 PM

 
Anonymous Anonyme a écrit...

Ta description du Kévin colle à la mienne du boulet ( espece qui sont identique ).
Et comble du désespoir : je vais passer une année dans une classe remplie de Kévin !!

3:39 PM

 
Anonymous Anonyme a écrit...

j'en connais tro des kevin d'ailleur jvé mettre un lien de mon blog au tien peut-être que sa changera leur mentalité

3:52 PM

 
Anonymous Anonyme a écrit...

Depuis qq tps j'ai remarqué que les kevins se multiplient fortement comment expliquer vs ça?



super l'article!!!

8:22 PM

 
Anonymous Anonyme a écrit...

Super ton article, mis à part le fait que mon prénom est kévin.. XD mais je suis pas comme ça :D

3:24 AM

 
Anonymous Anonyme a écrit...

L'origine des Kévin est très basique.

Les mères des Kevin étaient toutes des fans de Kevin Costner (pseudo-star des années 90). D'où les prénoms de leurs rejettons.

On comprends mieux l'origine et l'environnement dans lequel vie un Kévin; Une mère hystérique à 2 balles et une imaginations débordantes.

3:04 PM

 
Anonymous Anonyme a écrit...

bravo, beau travail.
Par contre, je te propose une correction: la femelle du kevin, c'est la sabrina et non la kevina.

mé lol koi si jte trouv tkt t mor!!!! o faite (jsé pa komen sa s'ecri ^^)pass sur mon blog é lach dé commmz ^^ lol
http://kevin-3395.skyrock.com/

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Anonymous Anonyme a écrit...

Tu te moques des Kevin mais en même temps tu ne sais pas écrire intelligence ; )

11:18 AM

 
Anonymous Anonyme a écrit...

Bah je m'appelle Kevin, et honnetement c'est franchement rabaissant..... Car je ne suis pas ce genre de personne ni pro "kévin"; je suis meme contre ce genre de personne XD
D'ailleur il serait unterressant pour ton article que tu cherche d'ou vient cette "racine" du mot: Pourquoi "un kevin" et pas "un alain" par exemple XD

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